Fred Lehr is a Lutheran pastor and a graduate of Lutheran Theological Seminary in Gettysburg. He is the founder and Manager of Renewal Ministries, LLC, a ministry of training and consulting for church systems, church leaders, and church professionals with special emphasis on conflict management, change management, healthy boundaries, stress management, and healthy congregations.
Lehr has written an excellent book on clergy burnout. He points out that "Virtually everyone has experienced burnout relative to something in his or her life at one time or another," (page 10). Though ministry can be a very fulfilling career, it can also lead to burn out if the minister does not take care of his own emotional well-being, especially if he becomes co-dependent with his congregation.
Those of us who have served in ministry roles understand what Lehr is talking about because we have experienced it first hand. We have worked hard serving others, sacrificing time with our own families and often our own health. But when seldom does the congregation return that same level of commitment to the minister. Far too many pastors yearn for the day they can retire because the demands of ministry are no longer as fulfilling as they once were.
But it does not have to be this way. Pastors can regain their balance and become more emotionally healthy. Lehr gives practical suggestions in his book for how a minister can be healthier. One suggestion is for pastors to avoid the cycle of codependency. Since many people have significant pain in their lives, they often look to a minister to help them. While a minister can give advice and encouragement, ultimately each person is responsible for their own health. But some church members would prefer to lean on the pastor's emotional strength instead of doing the hard work of becoming healthier themselves. Co-dependency happens when ministers let people use them as an emotional crutch because the minister feels a NEED to be needed.
This is unhealthy and eventually leads to conflict because codependent members will not rush to the pastor's aid or defend the causes which the pastor holds dear. Needy church members are only concerned about themselves and when the pastor can no longer meet their emotional needs, they will seek to remove the pastor and find someone else who they think will meet their needs better. Many pastors have learned this first hand. They often suffer in silence, or move to a new congregation, hoping it will be better. Often, it is not.
This co-dependence can lead to depression. Lehr points out that "Depressed clergy are not effective clergy," (page 45). But when a pastor can manage to regain his balance, then he can recover from burn out. Lehr suggests that one of the key elements in recovering from burnout and codependency is to regain balance in life. This can include emotional balance, spiritual balance, physical balance as well as a balance between work and recreation.
A second way a pastor can regain his balance is learn the art of detachment. This does not mean that a pastor does not care about his congregation. It simply means that he does not take on responsibilities that are not his to bear. The pastor can listen, pray for individuals, respond to the needs within the scope of his training and time, and refer other needs to those whom are better equipped to meet them.
As I read Lehr's book, it occurred to me that though he has written it primarily for pastors, its seems that the same principles and concepts would apply to any person who is in a "helping" profession. Social workers, medical providers, counselors, school guidance counselors and a host of other professionals could learn just as much from Lehr's research as pastors.
Dr. Terry W. Dorsett holds a Masters in Religious Education and a Doctorate in Administration. He oversees the work of the Baptist denomination in Vermont. He is widely sought after as a speaker in area churches. His innovative and fresh approach makes him an effective communicator with young adults. He is the author of two books and a frequent contributor to Baptist Press. His blog can be found at http://www.terrydorsett.com/.
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